ISTJ - slice of life
INFP - something shity
ESFP - magical girl anime
ESTJ - sports anime
ENFJ - pokemon
So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.
OMG ITS BACK
This shit needs to be published.
This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.you needed to read this I’m crying
caligula had anime eyes
wait romans painted their marble sculptures
it looks like a cheap theme park ride mascot
here’s a statue of Augustus
and here’s a reproduction of the statue with the colors restored
i honestly think that what we consider the height of sculpture in all of Western civilization being essentially the leftover templates of gaudy pieces of theme park shit to be evidence of the potential merit of found art
"I tried coloring it and then I ruined it"
ok seriously though all my visualisations of ancient rome are wrong?? and in all movies??? jfc
Yes. Like, very wrong.
Just a fraction of the cool stuff I learned when researching women’s history.
Rosalind Franklin did not just help. She actually discovered the structure before - Watson and Crick stole all the credit after building a stick and ball version of it.
The first known author and poet in history was a woman - Enheduanna.
The first known chemist was also a woman - Tapputi.
The world’s first novel was written by a woman -Murasaki Shikibu
on a scale of one to invade russia in the winter
how bad is your idea
invading finland in winter
the Finns used SKIS. just imagine being a Russian coming to battle and all of a sudden the Finns come out on nowhere ON SKIS
You could say the Russians were…
↳ SouMako week » day 7: free prompt!"Hey Makoto. I like you.”
Someone who hasn’t seen Yowapeda please explain this.
i watch yowapeda and i still have little way to explain the blue haired asshole
The girl in glasses is pissed because the boy she likes is, apparently, sexually attracted to his bike .
well you’re not wrong
Peach has lived most of her life in castles filled with lava
She spent her vacation hot-tubbing it up in an active volcano
She has been kidnapped to space
And the one time she actually got pissed off, she starred in her own game and rescued everyone with the power of emotion.
You think a tiny little laser explosion will break that iron princess demeanor?
Peach will wreck you.
This is my favorite post.
that guy’s phone in the first panel became more high tech in tony stark’s presence
I am laughing so fucking hard
oh my god how did I miss that
tony stark literally upgraded a flip phone to a smartphone by being within three feet of it
People pass their old technology close to him for his blessing and lo! It is upgraded. The miracle of the flip into the smart shall be told unto the ages.
unfinished fics? I love those. the way they just (clenches fists)
Raise your hand if you’re straddling the line between crippling anxiety and not giving any fucks about anything
I’m in love with indigenous characters so I’m gonna draw my fave ones and the first one is the fab Kuzco psshhh who doesn’t love Kuzco!?